Wow…I can’t believe it’s January again! I’ve been on a low, flat, like a cartoon character, since winter began…actually, if I’m honest, probably more like after Samhain. I’ve been largely uninspired, avoiding both paint brushes and pastels as well as my IPad, hoping that nobody notices. Unfortunately, it always nags at the back of my mind, what I’m doing (bingeing on tv, scrolling my social media, taking a nap), versus what I COULD be doing (painting, drawing, writing, cleaning, reading, learning). Yes, this is very much a low, down, “retreat inside” time of year but still, come on, Karyn, get it together. And that old Body Shop adage rings through my head, “If it is to be, it is up to me”. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how many prayers I say, how many spells I cast, how much I “put it out” into the universe, at some point I actually have to DO something to move that momentum forward, period.
So, here I am again, trying to “walk my talk”…doesn’t make a lot of sense to be blogging about creative process and daily creativity when you’re eating chips and watching Edward Scissorhands for the 30th time, right? Long ago, I was having a crisis, one that led me to seek professional guidance, it was a tough time. I spent a lot of my down days visiting one of my close to home, quiet, calm spaces, Banyen Books. Long known as a self help, esoteric and “deeper” place to find reading material, candles, yoga essentials, chimes, bells and incense, this place always feels like a little respite from the crowded, loud, too busy streets of Vancouver. So, there I was, in the Gods, Goddesses and Mythology section, just browsing and I pulled a book on Egyptian mythology and flipped the pages. The book opened to the goddess, Hathor. As I read I noticed that she was patron goddess of artists and musicians, and her celebration date corresponded to my birthdate (now, that probably isn’t true, given that ancient dates and modern dates have no real correspondence at all but, still, it felt like magic). She is goddess of hearth and home. She is a tough lady, she helps those who help themselves…which felt very important in that time of struggle. So, I set about having her tattooed on my back..no small feat, a year and half of my life, a lot or healing and a lot of pain. There was something extremely cathartic about going through the psychological pain of therapy and the physical pain of the back mural at the same time. Long and short of this story is that she is behind me for a reason…a forever reminder that I am at once the author of my own misery or my own salvation, with a little help from the “powers that be”, as long as I’m doing my job, the universe will give me a leg up.
Yes, of couse I cast the spell, said the prayer and made the request to the universe…I’m still a believer, after all! I have to get back to basics for the millionth time in my adult life…get outside, take a walk, move my feet, use my senses to find inspiration! It isn’t going to happen in front of a screen, as much as we like to fool ourselves into believing (do we REALLY believe, though?) that it’s “educational”. It’s actually a really beautiful time of year. Colour is low intensity, brooding, paused and waiting for the return of the sun and growing time. For now it is rich and deep and intense, which I find inspirational. Perfect! That is exactly what I needed.
A mentor once said to me that art was 90% work and 10% talent…bottom line, you can be as talented as you want but if you do nothing you have created nothing. Get it! Get the supplies out, put one foot in front of the other and just DO! Who cares what it looks like or if it’s relevant or has a purpose, the doing is the the thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now, doing feels GOOD, like a good workout after sitting around too long, flex, stretch, yes, perfect! Place Nike advertising right here…”Just Do It”.
How much time do any of us have in a day? How much time is spent on “have to” and “must”, life’s necessities? How often and how much time is spent on the “love to”, our passions, the things that make our hearts sing? Not damn near enough time, I’d say! This bit of process took all of an hour of my afternoon, working in unison with my Art Club lovelies. The results, the lift in my spirits, my hands remembering how to move the material around, my fingers covered in blue oil pastel melted into my skin (it’s still under my finger nails, even after a shower…whatever!), the smile slowly creeping around the edges…one hour…one measly little hour! Surely I’m worth an hour, this feeling is worth an hour, because this is who and what I am and have always been. Sometimes I just get sidetracked. Don’t we all? But it’s also our job to dig deep and get back on track again, and again, and again.
